Sunshine Girl

Wow! What a whirlwind of a couple weeks! From a visit from some of our favorite people from Seattle, to Easter and a birthday in Tennessee. Then finally, a visit from my sweet grandparents from California! Busy Busy BUSY!!

But with all that happenings I do not want to minimize the highlight of it all: Our Sweet Sophia turned 5!!!

How did it go by so fast?!?!

Approximately 6 years ago, Greg and I decided that we wanted to try for a baby. 6 months after that and we were blessed with the most splendid news! We were expecting! I had thought I had always wanted all boys but Greg was definite that he wanted a "Daddy's Girl". And after a long bitter winter, our sweet sunshine girl entered our world on April 21st 2009. I am an avid Beatles fan and had always loved the song "Here comes the Sun". I used to play it to her with headphones on my belly when I was pregnant. How perfectly fitting that she was born in the spring. I still sing that song to her today and it reminds me of her when I hear it out.

It seems she grew into this grown up girl over night. I remember like yesterday, the doctor and nurses placing her on my chest and she crying that sweet cry of a newborn. I looked over at Greg and he had the tears of new father and beaming with pride as he looked down at our new little miracle. We were so nervous and scared as typical new parents were, but it all seemed to fade as the calm of birth took over. All the doctors and nurses left and it was just Greg, Sophia, and I were in the room. A perfect little family of three.

I am amazed daily with how perfectly tender she is and such an animal lover. Always loving on our Chihuahua "Tuco" or the stupid cat "Kali". And now our "Elsa". It will not surprise me if she grows up to be a veterinarian. Though I will always support her for whatever she chooses her life to lead.

She is our beautiful Sunshine girl that brightens our days when it is dark. She gives the best hugs ever and has the bluest of eyes you could imagine. I am so proud to be her mommy and look so forward to watching her grow and flourish.

 

Elsa: The Newest of the Trupp Family

Well we've added another. I was convinced we wouldn't just yet but it happened.

Yes.....We adopted a dog. And we just love her.

Around valentines day, the hubs suggested getting a larger dog. He knew I've always loved larger dogs, though I'm attached to my Chihuahua tuco. But he also wanted a larger dog that he could take with him when he goes out bow hunting and I wanted one that would make me feel safe when he works late. And I wanted a dog that could play with the girls. Maybe not beanie (she is not into animals AT ALL lol) but definitely for Sophie.

So I found a sweet dog at a local rescue. I am BIG into rescues. She was a golden/lab mix. About 4 years old. I had her cat tested and small dog tested when I was there. Everything seemed to be fine. So I brought her home. And learned very quickly, everything was not going to be fine. While she was a sweet dog with us, she just could not handle being around tuco and kali (the cat) without chasing them. And when tuco let her know that he wasn't a "play" type of dog. She nipped and hooked his lower jaw good. I was devastated. Tuco was fine but it was painfully obvious that it wasn't going to work. We had to take her back. After a week of dealing with "Lexi" and her rescue shelter, I felt I just wanted to wait until we moved. I didn't want to deal with it at all. I felt so ashamed and guilty for taking on this dog that I couldn't handle and flipping our household upside down. Just didn't want to deal with it at all.

Then Greg had to work late. And I learned something about myself. I'm a big Wuss. lol. I used to be able to take on the world. But now I can't. Scared of everything. So in the morning with my usual craigslist scanning of real estate and farm equipment, I clicked on the pets section. I had been avoiding it like the plague but figured I'd take a peek.

There was the ad: Free Dog to a good home.

So I clicked on it to check it out. I'm so glad I did.

I contacted the owner and we texted a bit back and forth. "Ally", as she was called, was a German Shepherd/Mastiff mix who was about 5 1/2 months old. Raised with 2 cats and a jack Russell terrier. And a 5yr old and 2yr old children. I asked the gentleman why he had to give her up and he informed me that due to circumstances, he was moving to a different area that did not allow large dogs. Sounded like the perfect set up. We agreed to meet. I was determined to not make the same mistake as I did with Lexi. Not to let my heart take over. He showed up right on time and my goodness was I just blown away. This pup is the sweetest pup. Of course my heart fell for her immediately.

So here we are. The girls decided that we should call her "Elsa" as Ally was very close to Aunti Alex. And Elsa.....well Elsa just fits. She's just awesome. So full of love and sweetness. She, too, has not quite figured out that Tuco and Kali don't "play" but the mastiff in her takes over and she is so gentle.

lol She is quite bumbly as I call it. She hasn't figured out that she is all legs and a pup. Stumbling all over herself as she climbs the steps or running down a hill. And the girls (well Sophie) love her as much as we do. She still has some learning as far as finishing up potty training and learning not to "mouth" when she plays. But she is doing so well and is so smart.

We couldn't have asked for a better addition to the Trupp Homestead :-).

Our sweet Elsa.

The Love of Raw Milk



Its not easy raising a family on one income. When we decided to have children 6 years ago I neverwould have pictured myself as the "Stay at home Mom" kind of person. But then my two bundles came along it became apparent that being with my children (and my home) is where I was meant to be.

So the hubs and I sat down and really crunched the numbers. It would be tight but if it meant being with our children and raising them the way we had wanted, then penny pinching was the way to be. Bottom line......we were going to make it work.

I painstakingly plan out our budget every month of food and bills. I feel this is part of my job. And yes its not a secret that we go a different route when it comes to the food that we choose to provide for our family. Some things are cheaper in the long run and others are a bit more pricey. But I feel some things you just cannot compromise when it comes to your family.

One of the foods that is top on our priority list is milk.

We go through a TON of milk in this house. While my husband and I aren't big milk drinkers ourselves, our children can put away a gallon quicker than a blink of an eye. And add the dairy foods that come from that milk and it adds up.  

So considering how much goes into our family, finding good, quality milk is of big importance. Raw milk in our house is a must in our budget. I add it on with all the other main bills because its just not something I'm willing to compromise anymore.

I know it sounds crazy that we drink Raw Milk, but I promise you, with a little research and a reputable source, its worth every penny. I can guarantee organic, hormone free, wholesome milk that I know will fill my family with healthy enzymes, vitamins, and protein that pasteurization kills in conventional milk. I'm not saying that Raw Milk is the only way to go. I know its not readily available in a lot of places. For example even here in Kentucky. It is illegal to buy or sell raw milk here. I don't "buy" raw milk. I bought shares in a herd of cows. This is the product that my herd gives in which I am entitled too. I pay a maintenance fee every week which goes towards the care of our animals and in turn we get gallons of milk from our cows. Its simple but tricky. lol. Check your local laws. We own three shares so we get three gallons every week. And yes we use up all that milk.

Its not just milk that comes with it. Its the cream as well. Liquid, healthy fats. And with that I'm able to make our butter, coffee creamer, ice cream, and whatever else we need for the week. I'm even dabbling in cheesemaking! So in the long run those shares go along way!

I also love the fact that I know exactly where this product comes from. I even know the cows names!! White face, Black face, and Red. lol. The kids named them :-). Its such a religious and wonderful feeling driving out to the homestead every week to pick up our supply. To see where our cows eat, sleep and breath. Its magical. And so rewarding! Worth the 25 miles one way every week. Of course I hope to one day raise our very own milk cow, but until then I will gladly drive out there. Its my little slice heaven every Thursday. Thursday is now my favorite day of the week. Thursday is Milk Day <3

I'm not saying that Raw Milk is the only way to go. If its not available where you live, by all means, go find yourself some good organic milk. Please make sure you are drinking organic though. The hormones and process they go through is just not good. For you and the cows. But if it is available, do yourself a favor and check it out!

For more information on: Raw Milk
Also for useful information: http://www.theprairiehomestead.com/2013/05/got-raw-milk-why-we-chose-to-go-raw.html

Big Dreams

 

Oh how I miss owning our home. We actually are blessed with a really great rental home in a very nice neighborhood. Even a bit of land. But its hard when you know its not yours. When something breaks you have to call the "Landlord" and wait for them to get around to fixing it. Living on two acres of land is such a great concept EXEPT when its not yours and you can't do much with it. Although we are able to plant a garden, I would love to have more than "my neighbors chickens".

And then there is the gas fire place. Whoever thought these were a good idea?? Especially when its never been hooked up! Ugh. Wood burning for me. I love the smell and I also never like the idea of relying on a company to heat my home. We had a brutal winter with lows that dipped under 0 degrees. So gas was in high demand and at a premium. For something so basic as staying warm. And having a propane fireplace.....not hooked up......just mocking me. Ugh. Our furnace broke this winter which caused it to run constantly and never getting above 67. Also causing the bill to sky rocket as you could imagine. So sitting in a freezing house.....staring at a fireplace you can't use.....ugh.

This brings us back to our dreams. I am constantly on the craigslist ads perusing back and forth from the "Farm and Garden" section and the "Real Estate for Sale" ads. Just dreaming. We had to short sale our house when we left Washington so that, legally, does not allow us to buy for 3 years. In August we will be starting our second year. So when I came upon two (almost) perfect houses, it hurt like no other.

First house was the perfect Homesteaders house. 15 acres with a pond and homemade firing range. 3 bedroom house almost completed but nothing we couldn't handle. and OFF GRID. $50,000. Le sigh. Just not the right time.

Second house was a bit more promising. Lease to Own. 2 Year contract. Which would buy us the time we needed. 3 bedroom brick home with detached garage. Only 15 minutes or so from our current rental. BUT only 1 acre. 1 Bathroom. And REALLY close to a highway. As Greg puts it "One of the girls would wonder into the road, get hit by a semi, then he would have to go find an Indian Pet cemetery, bury her, she would come back to life and kill me and others." Ok that was a bit of a stretch but just not a good situation for us. And I really want more land than 1 acre.

So we sat down and really talked about what was important to us. We loved our first home.....until we had children. Then it was just too small. And we couldn't do anything with it. We don't want to get into a situation like that again. Where we "Settle". And we are willing to search for it.....and wait if needed.

I want 5-10 acres so I can have my animals and garden. I want a wood burning fireplace. Greg wants 10 acres and some wooded so he can hunt and have trees for our fireplace if needed. He wants a pond. He wants to NOT be on a main road. A house that is set back a bit. These, we've decided, are things that are just so important to us. And we aren't willing to settle anymore.

While its frustrating to know that we will be living in a rental for a while longer, it seems a little less painful to know that the next home we own will be ours. And what WE want. A place for our farm and our children to grow. A place for us. And then I know we will have finally arrived and we can live our dream of the Trupp Homestead.

Warm Comforting Taco Soup

Wow. Just wow. Such a week we had. That's really why I haven't written.

Life....like I've said before....is just hard. I mean really hard sometimes. It seems sometimes when trying to do the right thing....life just kicks ya where it counts. And all you can do is pick yourself up. Dust off the dirt. Truck on.

The problem I have with this is I'm not easy to do that sometimes. I am after all human.

It was a very busy and stressful week for us. I do not want bore you with the details. Just that we tried to adopt a dog and it didn't work out. And it played on my heart and soul. Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way you want it to. The good thing is I have such an awesome family. And an awesome husband.

Coupled with some other troubling news it was just a rough week.

By the time supper rolled around on some of those nights I was left completely aghast that I had left nothing out for supper.

Time to pick up and remember some of the awesome things in life....like meat in our freezer.

One of my husbands favorite meals has pulled us out of jam too many times to count. It does take a bit of preparation (as in crockpot) but not much. And I've made it on the stove before with the same results. The recipe was given to me a while ago and it just screams comfort food now. Something we crave when the nights are cold and endless and all you need is something warm in your belly to remind you of the good things.

Taco Soup

you will need:

• 1 lb of ground meat of your choice (we have beef but I've made it with turkey for a lower fat version and its just fantastic)
• 1 can of corn (or frozen preferable organic)
• 1 can rotel (tomatoes with chilies)
• 1 can black beans (I always prefer organic but this is what I had lingering in my pantry from the great purge)
• 1 packet of ranch dressing mix (organic or homemade are preferable of course)
• 1 packet of taco seasoning or equivalent amount homemade

Preparation:

1.) Brown meat in a large skillet and add to your crock pot.

2.) Add all of your other ingredients as well and give it a big stir making sure all ingredients are incorporated nicely.

3.) Now turn on your crock pot to low and walk away for the day. Alternately you can turn your crockpot on high and walk away for a few hours. Alternately Alternately you can throw all in pot and simmer for a bit on the stove stirring every now and then. I've done all three.

4.) When you return it will have turned into this yummy flavorful stew like mixture that fills the house with aromatic goodness.

Scoop into a bowl and add your favorite cheese. You also could serve this with sour cream and chives for an added kick. We just like ours with cheese. My whole family LOVES this meal and it screams warmth and comfort. You should definitely give it a try.

My husbands "other woman"

I know  I know....

Its not what you think. My husband loves me more than words can properly express. And I am so in love with him. But he does have a second love. This is the love of Craft Beer. I'm not talking the beer flavored water you buy at the grocery store that has commercials during your Super Bowl. I'm talking the dark, Hoppiest of Hoppy, Beer.

And to really push that love into a full blown obsession: he brews his beer as well. A few years back, my dad had asked if he would be interested in starting to brew as he was going to start. So for Christmas they both received gifts of Home Brew Kits.

Like mad scientists, they research different grains and malts. All different kinds of recipes and brew shops. While my dad likes the darker, Stout kind of beer. Greg prefers the hoppy IPA or I refer to as stinky beer.

I'm not going to lie. I do love it when he brews. The house starts smelling of warm hops and grains. Reminds me of warm grape nuts cereal. You can tell he really really enjoys it. And I love watching him get such pleasure out of this process.

He carefully measures out each ingredient using my kitchen scale. Making sure to sterilize everything before and after as he goes. Listening to Tool or A Perfect Circle on the computer while following his chosen recipe. As I get so passionate about my baking or homesteading, he gets just as passionate about his brew.

After a few days I will watch him go lovingly check on his "carboy" as it starts to ferment and bubble. Checking on it every few days. And then he will switch to a second ferment and then bottle. About six weeks in, he will crack open that first bottle with baited breath. Listening for that tell tale sound of properly carbonated beer.

He will take that first sip and a sense of appreciation and pride with wash over his face and I will be proud of him as well. I'm ok with this "other woman" I guess. Just as long as promises to brew me a Pale Ale ;-)

The Main Squeeze

Today is my husband's birthday. I can honestly say I don't know what my life would be like if I had never met him. He is my "sun, my moon, My stars" to quote the beautiful Daenerys. My smile on sad days. My heart.

I met Greg when I was 14 living in central Washington. As I tell people: I was the youngest of our bunch of friends and he was definitely the older. Nothing inappropriate but definitely nothing that was kosher lol. I liked to skip school and secretly walk to his basement window, gently wrapping to alert him to let me in. And we would sit and watch TV or I would watch him play video games.

I remember thinking he was so sweet and handsome. He was the friend of my then boyfriend at the time who truly was nothing to write home about. And whenever I would have problems, he was always there to listen to me cry. I never thought he would look at me any differently then the little hippie girl that hung out in his basement room.

I got older and graduated high school and eventually broke it off with the boyfriend I had been dating. And Greg and I showed interest in each other but nothing to call serious. We ended up losing touch. I moved to California to live with my father and then migrated east to Tennessee. He moved off to Seattle with a girl he was dating. And the years would pass. I got married and then divorced. He would stay with the girl but then broke it off after awhile but remained in Seattle.

Then the internet began to grow and social media along with it. Myspace. I know. I'm embarrassed to say it as well. lol. I remember I was living in Nashville, having moved there after my divorce to start over. I had put off opening a "Myspace account" because it didn't really interest me. But push came to shove and I opened one. Not two weeks later and I received a message. It was from Greg Trupp. I remember I was working at a high end pet kennel and was visiting in the groomers room for my break. I opened the message and was astonished. The message asked if I was the Nikki Salazar from Selah Washington and if so, that he had been looking for me for years. To call him, when I could, to catch up. I was completely taken aback. And I'll never forget what one of my groomer friends had said to me. She said "People come in and out of our lives at the times they are supposed. This might be meant to be".

I called that "Greg Trupp" and that night we talked for HOURS. Catching up was an understatement to say the least. We talked more and more. And eventually I would fly out to visit. I knew, when I left that weekend to fly back to Nashville, that Seattle with Greg Trupp was where I was meant to be. Two and a half months later, I would make that happen. I have never looked back.

 

Seven and half years and many states further, and I am still the happiest I have ever been. Married with two beautiful little girls. I still marvel at the fact that I married "Greg Trupp". He chose ME. He is my everything and I cannot imagine my life any other way. The best husband, father and partner in life than I could ever ask for. 

One of the hardest parts of parenting.

Being a parent is hard. Like really hard. I would have to say, in my 32 years of life, this is probably the most challenging thing I have done with my life. And I've had a pretty "challenging" life. lol. We are blessed with these little sweet blessings without any "training" or coaching. Sure you have advice from trusted sources like your own mother or grandmother. Or friends. But every child is different and this really is not a case of "one size fits all".

I've always been one who, how do we say, likes to have control of situations. I like things a certain way. And I don't really think that's a bad thing. I've never been late to anything that I can control. I'm very strict on the foods that come into our household. I don't do things that I don't want to do. But you know who has a way of challenging all these things about myself? My children. Oh my sweet children. And I've noticed in the almost 5 years that I've been a parent, My voice has gotten louder. I'll just say it: I yell a lot. Sox, I love her so, but darn it if that girl must touch EVERYTHING that does not belong to her. Its like an addiction for her to find stuff that she shouldn't be touching and then she grabs it. *sigh*. And Beanie. Oh Beanie. I love my Beanie but that girl is as bull headed as they come. If she doesn't want to do something, Well she just isn't going to do it. And the kicking and screaming come along with it. And when those two girls are together.....well they either super love each other or SUPER can't stand each other. Screaming and yelling is heard throughout the house. Which turns into me screaming and yelling to be louder than them and get their attention. I'm not proud of it. Its just something that has evolved over the years. I used to marvel at my friends and other parents who seemed to have it together. Well balanced children and such a peaceful demeanor. Why couldn't this happen in my house? I decided, this needs to change ASAP.

I don't know why, but over this past week or so I've had a lot of situations which have left me sitting back and really taking a hard look at myself. And a hard look at myself with my children. I love my children more than life itself. It makes me tear up just thinking about how much. And it just breaks my heart to think of them only remembering their childhood with yelling all the time. So I have made a conscious effort to not yell. And you know what....its been nice.

 

  

Just when I get to that point, You know that point: when your blood pressure is getting higher, and you are gritting your teeth while trying to talk. At that point, I find myself almost holding my breath while I calmly talk which is in turn bringing my voice level down. I give the however number of warnings before punishment is given, be it loss of privilege or a time out. Or both. Which has happened. And the interesting part of all of it is that I've noticed I AM happier as well. And I've learned to appreciate my children more. A feeling that I don't ever want to lose. I sit with Sox and look at her while she is explaining something while fidgeting her hands, and just marvel at her beauty and tenderness. And Beanie with all her rambunctious two year old energy. I steal a kiss and a hug whenever I can get them as they are few and far between now. When Sox touches things she isn't supposed to, I warn her and remind her that she must ask first if it doesn't belong to her. And when it happens again, I calmly remind her that she was warned and soon punishment will happen. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But I've learned that she listens more and thinks about her actions more.  Same with Beanie. Of course it takes a few more warnings but she, I believe, is starting to understand more.

Its so funny what you learn when you really take a step back and look at yourself. I try to do this quite often just to keep myself in check. I don't want my house to be a household of yelling and anger. I don't want my children to learn to be that. I want my children to remember a lot of love and peace in our house. I don't want my children to fear me but instead to respect me. These years go by so fast. Why, if we have the choice, not spend those times screaming at each other but instead loving and caring and really teaching our children. And how else are they to learn than from you? Its time for that cycle to be broken in our house. And its starting with me.

Time flies when you are having fun

It seems like yesterday when I brought home my first baby girl. I'll never forget those wide beautiful blue eyes looking up at me for the first time and all the amaze and wonderment of it all. And then just a couple short years later my second bundle of love came along. My sweet and wonderful "Bean". And while I yearn for the days when I'm not on constant alert for my little ones, times bring us right back to reality and I relish those sweet little snuggles.

Today was like any other morning with the hustle and bustle around the house. Up early and rushing about the house to get Sox off to preschool. Drop off went well and Bean and I returned home to do our normal morning time set up. I fixed her a hot breakfast of leftover baked French Toast that I had made over the weekend. Then after all was done shuffled her off to her room for a short show of "Little Einsteins" while I made butter and then vacuumed. Seems easiest to do these quick tasks while my ever so inquisitive Sox is in school for now. After butter making and vacuuming I told Beanie it was time to get dressed so we could go about our day and go get sister soon. I followed her into her room as she ran off and in slow motion it seemed, she tripped over her own feet in only the way two year olds do and face planted into the corner leg of her bed.

Now its funny but when things like this happen I get amazingly calm and collected. Strange as I always imagined myself freaking out in said situation but I don't. I picked up my now screaming toddler and wiped the blood from her nose and comforted her in the way only a mommy could. And as I sat there rocking her and hushing quietly to her it hit me. These are the moments that I will miss most. I had a big morning planned of making wonton wrappers and more organizing but at that moment none of that mattered. Because my baby NEEDED me. And she didn't want me to go. So I sat there rocking her. Closing my eyes and smelling her sweet hair. And trying so hard to imprint this moment into my memory so I will always have it.

It goes so fast. Too fast it seems. These times we have with our children. We find out that a new little bundle is coming. We bring that bundle home. And with a blink of an eye they are growing up and independent and you are fighting with them to just give you a quick hug. I'm already learning that now with my sweet Bean. Ahhh independence. Two is the year that we get to experience it lol. Potty training has been a test of patience that's for sure. But I love those sweet moments when time seems to stand still and we remember what it was like when they were babies. I know my babies are still young and I have so much to look forward to. But they are growing so fast and I can't help but try and pause to remember those rare moments when all they want to do is have you hold them. I'm registering my first baby for kindergarten this year. Before I know it, I will be attending my youngest baby's graduation. And at those moments, when I watch her cross that stage, with all the excitement and joy, I will still close my eyes and I remember those big beautiful blue eyes of my Sox looking up at me while tears of joy filled her daddy's eyes. I will remember that sweet smell of my Bean's hair and how at one time, she did not want me to let her go. And all will be perfect in my world.

Life....Sometimes

There are times when it feels like the world is your oyster. You are flying high and can touch the stars if you want. Everything seems to be in the right place and nobody and nothing is going to bring you down. And then there are other days. Days when whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. When all you want to do is rewind the day like an old VCR watching it in reverse until you are sleeping soundly awaiting your alarm to start the day fresh. Yep its been a couple of those these few days.

We were dealt with two Mega hits in a day this past week. Firstly, my husbands paycheck was a bit short as we hadn't calculated in the lost hours for a death in the family. Sure we have a little savings but we are trying to build that up again remember. No biggie right? We have food and meat so that will cover some costs lost until next paycheck. Well then there's the other. Nothing like coming home to a non-freezing freezer. Remember that post I did a couple weeks ago of our big meat purchase and buying bulk?? Yep that was it. Gone. I was able to salvage a couple chops and 1 package of chicken. But the rest was black and soft. It was a slow thaw. *sigh*. Such a waste. That's what bothered me the most. All is wasted. There was some venison in that freezer too from a dear friend that had rotted as well. Such a waste.

Now one can handle these one of two ways. Worry worry worry until you make yourself sick and you're snapping at all and everyone. OR. Drive on. Move onward and upward. Make lemon curd out of lemons. Or Chicken salad out of Chicken Sh*@ as my father would say. I feel this is the foundation of homesteading for me. Break away all the romantic thoughts of animals and fresh food and home. To me, Homesteading is making the most with what you have. So you AREN'T running to the stores. This will be tough as we definitely are a MEAT and potatoes kind of family, but its not impossible.

 

This also means being there for each other. A marriage works as a team. The family works as a team. When one is down, the other needs to pick up and be a rock. And to be honest...My husband is an amazing rock. No matter how down or worried I get, he is always there to remind me that "this too shall pass". Of course he says it super guy like fashion and in different words lol. But you get my drift. And when he is down, Its my turn to pull up my big girl panties and rock on. I know that these were two big blows for him. As a man, he wants to provide the best way possible for his family. And he does in more ways than he will ever know. But this is one time when I can utilize all those skills that I have been honing for the past couple years as a Stay At Home Mom and Future homesteader. Making as much as I can from scratch with just the pantry staples and whatever else we have. This is my way of "providing for my family". Its my way of being there for my husband. And being the best mommy and wife I can be.

Times are hard. But we are here for each other. And in the end. That's really all that matters. Being here for my children is the best thing I can do for them. I've been in the kitchen all morning making butter and yogurt and granola. Now I'm soaking and cooking beans for supper tonight. We have some bacon and we are going to make it last! Going to be nice for my husband to come home to a big bowl of hearty bean and bacon soup I think. That coupled with our girls' smiling faces and a nice clean(ish) house (lol I've got kids!! trying to clean with two children is like trying to brush your teeth with oreos!!), I think we will be alright :-)

Thoughts on the past and future

There are few places that I can honestly say hold my heart. I've travelled most of my life so saying any place is "like home" is really a stretch. I can honestly say that Seattle, or more accurately, the Pacific Northwest, feels like home.

Last night was a big night for Seattle and my beloved Seahawks. As we lined ourselves up for Superbowl Sunday, I couldn't help but to get deeply saddened for not being there celebrating with all my friends. I miss all the evergreens and mist. The water (though I'm deeply scared of it) and the mountains. And of course my friends. It hasn't been easy for us this past couple years. We left Seattle and for good reason. We needed to be closer to family and create a better life for our children. Our house was incredibly small and we were steadily outgrowing it. I REALLY wanted to be able to have my children play outside if wanted and that just wasn't in the cards where we were living. Our house was extremely close to the main road and backed up to a grocery market. In "little mexico". When we bought it, we loved our house and its character. But, after having children, it just wasn't right for us. And it really played on my heart that my children were never around any family. Greg has only a few family members left but none that were a constant in the girls' life and I had really no body close. I do have a brother in Washington but he is in the military and always deployed. Bottom line....it needed to change. It is true......having children changes everything.

So we moved. We packed up and left. And I remember looking back at my city in the dark early hours as we drove away, with tears filling my eyes. I love that city. But it just wasn't right for us then. And honestly? It just isn't right for us now. I feel sometimes what you want is not necessarily what you need. And we need to be here. We are building such a foundation for our children of family and hard work. We can now have the time (and space) to do the things that we wanted for them. They have built such strong relationships with their grandparents and aunts. And especially now that their great grandparents are here. It was a great move. Hopefully, soon, we will be purchasing land to build our homestead and growing our farm. These are things that I remind myself of why we moved.

So I will always have my heart in the Pacific Northwest. And I know there will be times when I really just want to go back. But I know, someday I will return. Until then I will cheer from a far with my fellow Seahawks fans. Maybe I'll plant some blue and green flowers this year. :-)