Thoughts on the past and future

There are few places that I can honestly say hold my heart. I've travelled most of my life so saying any place is "like home" is really a stretch. I can honestly say that Seattle, or more accurately, the Pacific Northwest, feels like home.

Last night was a big night for Seattle and my beloved Seahawks. As we lined ourselves up for Superbowl Sunday, I couldn't help but to get deeply saddened for not being there celebrating with all my friends. I miss all the evergreens and mist. The water (though I'm deeply scared of it) and the mountains. And of course my friends. It hasn't been easy for us this past couple years. We left Seattle and for good reason. We needed to be closer to family and create a better life for our children. Our house was incredibly small and we were steadily outgrowing it. I REALLY wanted to be able to have my children play outside if wanted and that just wasn't in the cards where we were living. Our house was extremely close to the main road and backed up to a grocery market. In "little mexico". When we bought it, we loved our house and its character. But, after having children, it just wasn't right for us. And it really played on my heart that my children were never around any family. Greg has only a few family members left but none that were a constant in the girls' life and I had really no body close. I do have a brother in Washington but he is in the military and always deployed. Bottom line....it needed to change. It is true......having children changes everything.

So we moved. We packed up and left. And I remember looking back at my city in the dark early hours as we drove away, with tears filling my eyes. I love that city. But it just wasn't right for us then. And honestly? It just isn't right for us now. I feel sometimes what you want is not necessarily what you need. And we need to be here. We are building such a foundation for our children of family and hard work. We can now have the time (and space) to do the things that we wanted for them. They have built such strong relationships with their grandparents and aunts. And especially now that their great grandparents are here. It was a great move. Hopefully, soon, we will be purchasing land to build our homestead and growing our farm. These are things that I remind myself of why we moved.

So I will always have my heart in the Pacific Northwest. And I know there will be times when I really just want to go back. But I know, someday I will return. Until then I will cheer from a far with my fellow Seahawks fans. Maybe I'll plant some blue and green flowers this year. :-)